Muslim girl’s guide for dealing with boys
Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the one that will probably bug you the
most and always be getting in the way is the opposite gender. Here, from one
sister to another, is a Muslim girl’s guide for how to deal with guys.
· *No Touching:* Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram
person of the opposite gender (Mahram is your dad, brother, father-in-law,
husband, grandfather, and your parents’ siblings). That means no patting on
the back, no handshaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and
obviously no kissing and all that.
· *No Flirting:* Not even with Muslims. Flirting means that you’re
saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to
you. There’s no set criterion for what flirting is, but every girl knows
what it is and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to be better than the kind of women who share
their beauty with all men around her and who think they are worthy only if
half the men they know are in love with them. A wise man once said, “Don’t
start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass.” If you don’t want a
guy’s advances, then don’t do anything to earn them. You really only want to
marry one, good guy and spend the rest of your life with him. Chances are he
won’t be the same dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.
· *No Boyfriends:* As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is
Haraam because it leads to Zina – illegal sexual relationship. Allah
expressly forbids romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When
people go against that rule, the society degenerates, people use and abuse
each other, diseases spread and the sacredness of marriage as an institution
is destroyed. It’s not right to date to get to know each other (that
includes talking on the phone). In Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren’t
allowed to be alone together.
· *No Boy-Friends:* The easiest way to ensure that you don’t end up
falling in love with some guy before you’re ready to get married is to avoid
making friends with boys. Of course, if you’re studying in a mixed school,
you will have to interact with boys, but that doesn’t mean you should be
best buds with them. Most relationships begin with friendships. Chances are
you’re not ready for marriage and your parents won’t let you get married.
Moreover, you’re still in school and your crush is not the sort of fellow
you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends
with him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving
yourself from needless temptation.
When you have to talk to boys in school, it’s best to maintain a distance.
That means that you don’t confide in them and you don’t unnecessarily engage
in needless conversations. Don’t joke around and never flirt. Yeah it may be
a little hard, but we’re talking about your hereafter here. There are plenty
of great girls all around who can be your friends and if you really think
only a man will understand your problem, then talk to your brother, your
father, or an uncle.
· *Be Disaffected:* That means that nothing a boy says will hit your
nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means that you
are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an
airplane looking down at the scenery below. You’re not much interested in
what’s going down there, because though it looks really nice, you’ll have to
jump off the plane to really check it out. Likewise, the guy may look really
nice, but to get him, you have to jump off the plane, i.e., commit spiritual
suicide. Though the fall may be fun, you will eventually hit the ground and
go “splat” on the Day of Judgment, or even sooner may be. It’s not worth the
Remember that Allah is watching you always! Isn’t it being ungrateful to
Allah’s favors? How dumb is it to take the eyes that Allah gave you and do
things with them that He told you not to (like ogle at boys)? How much
stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it!
- Ambreen Juvale